Self-worth vs. self-esteem. How to turn negative self talk around.
I want to talk to you about something SO IMPORTANT today that is a big part of keeping up with a fitness and wellness lifestyle!
P.S.Read all the way to the bottom for a free gift or scroll if you don’t want to read all of this…I understand :)
This “something” is SELF-WORTH …
Climbing up a rock in Puerto Vallarta, MX.
… and it fuels SO MUCH about your life! It’s all about realizing how important and valuable you are. And also how WORTHY you are of being treated well and living a healthy and fit life.
It’s a little different – and a whole lot more important – than self-esteem.
Here’s a really quick example of what I’m talking about:
Let’s say you try on some shirts at the mall, and you don’t like the way your arms look, or maybe you’re not pleased with your midsection. You might even realize you have low self-esteem in these areas – i.e., they don’t make you feel confident.
I’ve done it and as I type this I realize how much I have said I don’t like my midsection anymore. That I don’t wear shorts in the summer because I don’t like my legs (especially when I am white as a ghost). This is actually one of the first pictures I have posted of myself on vacation in a swimsuit. I don’t have the body I once had in my 20s but I am stronger both physically and mentally. I know that I am more than what my stomach looks like (even at my fittest, I’ve never had a six pack), or what my legs look like. But I do know that I want to be able to run a 5K at any time. I want to be able to get off the floor, be able to lift heavy shit and not get hurt, be able to do fun things on vacation and not be held back by fear that I can’t keep up.
How do you change that mindset?
It’s knowing you are better! It’s self-worth.
SELF-WORTH lets you know that you are SO MUCH MORE than the state of your arms or midsection. AND ... it can even help you recognize that you want something different for yourself.
It can be the spark you need to make certain changes – because you know you are WORTHY of feeling comfortable and confident in your own skin.
It’s the same as when you set boundaries for how you allow people to treat you, or decide to go after a promotion, or any other goal you want, because you are worth it!
You have to believe you can do it and go for it! This is me jumping 15’ into a waterfall in Bali.
I see this all the time with potential clients. In order to make a change and be confident you have to first be comfortable with yourself and know that you are worthy of the goal you want to achieve. That you deserve it! That you can do it.
Did you know that your inner dialogue (aka the “voice in your head”) is one of the biggest influencers on your confidence and self-esteem?
If your self-talk is positive and empowering – fantastic! That didn’t happen by accident. You developed a HABIT of speaking to yourself that way, and your life likely reflects that positivity.
But if your self-talk tends to be on the negative side (which is the case for a LOT of people), I’ve got some coaching tips that can help you turn it around.
The first thing to know is that you are NOT your thoughts. That little voice in your head can say a LOT of things that aren’t always true.
That internal noise is called “thought chatter” – and it’s a process that happens when your brain isn’t otherwise engaged.
TIP: Think of it as a body process like digestion or breathing. It’s just a byproduct of your brain doing its job.
That means you can gain control over it!
Here are some things you can do to turn that negative thought chatter into something empowering that helps you reach your goals (instead of derailing you) …
RECOGNIZE IT - the first step is to be aware that it’s even there in the first place! Pay attention to yours today - how often does it show up?
CALL IT OUT – As soon as you notice the negative self-talk happening, shut it down! Don’t criticize yourself for having the chatter. Instead, think, “I hear you in there – and I’m not interested in your nonsense TODAY!” You can even give it a name if you want – like Negative Nelly or Cynical Cindy, or Pessimistic Pete.
REDIRECT IT – If you notice yourself falling into negative thought patterns, turn those thoughts around fast.
Example: let’s say you are feeling stressed from work, and your internal chatter is telling you to skip your workout because you’re too tired and grouchy.
Turn that around by telling yourself your workout will lift you OUT of this mood and give you the exact boost you need (because it actually WILL!).
REPLACE IT – This is a proactive approach. Instead of redirecting the negative self-talk AFTER it starts, come up with some positive thoughts that have meaning to you. Then, repeat them to yourself several times a day.
Ideas: “I am confident and unstoppable.” “I feel strong and motivated.” “I’m really proud of how well I’m doing with my fitness routine.”
Negative thoughts are not something you should ever be ashamed of … we all have them.
The key is to become aware of them and to replace them with ideas and thoughts that help you build CONFIDENCE and feel good about yourself… not tear you down and beat you up.
Life is too short to let negative self-talk lie to you and prevent you from living the life you are MEANT TO LIVE. Don’t you agree?
If you need help with your goals and creating a personalized action plan to get there, I can help! Schedule A GOAL-MAPPING SESSION and we can help you get started on your journey today!
Make it an amazing future-self kind of day. ;)